Having come out of a relationship with someone I loved deeply, I was at a very vulnerable stage in my life. I had a great job, lots of friends and was always happy being independent. I didnt need a man in my life and I was still grieving the loss of my relationship break up! – it was then that someone came into my life.
Flowers, chocolates, words that “bigged me up” and made me feel better day by day, taking my mind off of my previous love. I felt I was feeling better as the days went by. This person was NOT by any means the type I would choose but I was “taken in” by his charm and THEN kindness towards me.
That soon changed! 🙁 the first time I saw this WOLF was on a trip to Dublin with his friends, we all had a great time, lots of fun and drink. This was the very first timer I experienced FEAR like never before. The start of the abuse. I wont go into detail but let me say this, I had never ever experienced this in all my years of dating. I was petrified and he couldnt have been more sorry. Was this normal? I didnt know, what did I do or WANT? I wanted to get as far away as possible.
IT WASNT that easy, the next 2 years were up and down and I was always scared. This feeling overwhelmed me, it took over my daily thoughts, interfered with my work and changed who I was. The next incident I experienced would send me into a deep, dark place where I was “scared for my life”. Coming home from a nightclub, I went into my flat. The said person (no names mentioned) was there. He asked me what I had been doing with men??? I was having fun with the girls. He then proceeded to kick me as hard as he could (I still have the scars). they say you can tell by the eyes of “evil” and looking back now I see what they are saying. He was in a violent rage. My eyes were blackened, he dragged my by my arms out on to the balcony and said he was going to put my head through the glass……………… I was screaming and my neighbour (thank the Lord) came out and saved me.
I cannot even explain the horror this brought to my life, but that was by no means the end, I spent the next year or more being stalked. I moved 2 times but he found me. I would bathe in the dark, have no music on and be fearful constantly! – he done so much to go into but I do remember on one occasion, when my friend, a very nice man was at my flat, he opened the door and he stabbed him in the hand………… I didnt ever think I would have the strength to carry on but I DID – there was so much more horror I could go into like the head butting in the street when he saw me! – Its an EXPERIENCE of LIFE, albeit not a good one but I DID come out much STRONGER and definitely understand now how it is “so difficult to get away” – so when some says “why dont you just leave”! it really is NOT THAT SIMPLE
Getting out of a relationship like this leaves you with mental scars. Im here to talk, support and build you up where you are meant to be………… loved, cherished, admired and supported. Never let anyone tell you you should be anything BUT
